More Than Anxiety
The house has been cleaned. Carpets have been shampooed. Fan blades have been dusted (we got serious, people). Furniture has been rearranged. There are still projects that we didn’t get to but I’m pleased with what we did accomplish.
I can see the top of my desk for the first time since I purchased it just before last semester. I can see it now, just in time to cover it back up for the upcoming semester.
Finances have been updated (a sad situation, to be sure). All accounts have been reconciled. All statements have been filed. Well, except for the one that I couldn’t find. The fact that they are all reconciled and up to date at the same time is huge!
My backpack has been packed. All textbooks have been purchased. I haven’t figured out my method for notes for the different classes i.e. notebook or binder, but I’ve got the supplies for either way.
My car still has the ability to have “wash me” written on any surface, inside or out, but I’m hoping to take care of that tomorrow night. I had told myself that I couldn’t go to bed on Saturday night until it was clean but circumstances kept me from it.
So I should be ready, right? Except I’m not.
Over the past week or so, I’ve felt the pre-semester anxieties setting in—a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach; a band slowly tightening around my heart. By Saturday night, I realized that it had gone a bit further than just anxiety.
Kris and I had gone to BG to do some last minute shopping. I told Kris that my lower extremities seemed to have a weird numb sensation. By the time we got home I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach but not totally. The weird numb sensation spread to my entire body. My eyes were burning and itchy.
My face felt like it was burning up, but I was cold. I longed to do as I did when I was a child—take a blanket, find a register expelling warm air, lie down next to it, use the blanket to seal myself and the register in, and get toasty warm. Alas, the air in my house comes from the ceiling, making it impossible to accomplish such a feat.
I took a hot shower. It felt weird because my skin had become ultra-sensitive to all sensations. I turned up my electric blanket and went to bed. My fever must have broken around 4 in the morning because I woke up hot as a biscuit and sweating like it was summertime.
Fortunately, it was my turn to stay home with Mom’s patient so I didn’t have the dilemma of deciding if I was well enough to go to church or not, especially because I wasn’t. Another fortunate thing for me was that Mom & Dad were going away for lunch so I didn’t have to fix a huge lunch.
So here I am, a mere nine and a half hours from class-time, wondering if puking would make me feel better, and running to the bathroom as if it’s the newest fad. Aaargh!!
I can see the top of my desk for the first time since I purchased it just before last semester. I can see it now, just in time to cover it back up for the upcoming semester.
Finances have been updated (a sad situation, to be sure). All accounts have been reconciled. All statements have been filed. Well, except for the one that I couldn’t find. The fact that they are all reconciled and up to date at the same time is huge!
My backpack has been packed. All textbooks have been purchased. I haven’t figured out my method for notes for the different classes i.e. notebook or binder, but I’ve got the supplies for either way.
My car still has the ability to have “wash me” written on any surface, inside or out, but I’m hoping to take care of that tomorrow night. I had told myself that I couldn’t go to bed on Saturday night until it was clean but circumstances kept me from it.
So I should be ready, right? Except I’m not.
Over the past week or so, I’ve felt the pre-semester anxieties setting in—a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach; a band slowly tightening around my heart. By Saturday night, I realized that it had gone a bit further than just anxiety.
Kris and I had gone to BG to do some last minute shopping. I told Kris that my lower extremities seemed to have a weird numb sensation. By the time we got home I was feeling somewhat sick to my stomach but not totally. The weird numb sensation spread to my entire body. My eyes were burning and itchy.
My face felt like it was burning up, but I was cold. I longed to do as I did when I was a child—take a blanket, find a register expelling warm air, lie down next to it, use the blanket to seal myself and the register in, and get toasty warm. Alas, the air in my house comes from the ceiling, making it impossible to accomplish such a feat.
I took a hot shower. It felt weird because my skin had become ultra-sensitive to all sensations. I turned up my electric blanket and went to bed. My fever must have broken around 4 in the morning because I woke up hot as a biscuit and sweating like it was summertime.
Fortunately, it was my turn to stay home with Mom’s patient so I didn’t have the dilemma of deciding if I was well enough to go to church or not, especially because I wasn’t. Another fortunate thing for me was that Mom & Dad were going away for lunch so I didn’t have to fix a huge lunch.
So here I am, a mere nine and a half hours from class-time, wondering if puking would make me feel better, and running to the bathroom as if it’s the newest fad. Aaargh!!
posted by Sharon @ 8:34 PM
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